But you can learn how to navigate these differences, and have the relationships with women that other men envy. We all get trapped in our emotions from time to time and can use a little outside help. That she can be a moody girlfriend. So rather than tell her what to feel or what to do, console her. Use your heart, not your mind, to deal with the situation — as counterintuitive as that may sound.
Indeed, usually they already know what to do, so telling them often comes across as arrogant and oblivious, and just pisses them off more. Instead just be open and listen. In these cases, understand: Humor can gently guide a woman out of her state and into a new one where she can laugh at herself and the situation.
Women love to laugh, and if you can give them something to laugh about, they will almost always appreciate the opportunity to do it. In these cases, trying to push jokes on her can actually prove counterproductive.
How to Deal With Relationship Problems With Your Girlfriend
Not only will it annoy her, but if you keep trying to change her mood and get a specific reaction from her all it does is make you look needy and uncaring. In these cases you need to try a different tactic. And paradoxically, the best way to do it is to not try to do anything at all. You simply move the interaction forward ; change the subject, move onto to other things, and stop putting pressure on it all.
Their thoughts are just stuck on an unpleasant topic, and they just need a little help to stop fixating on it. Maybe she needs some space, and maybe you need to come back later and try some combination of the previous three rules. Or maybe you need to let her process it all on her own over time. EVERY woman is moody at times. This is a skill you need to master. I offer coaching for men to help them learn how to do it.
Contact me for a consultation today. A variation of this article was originally posted at The Social Man.
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It is a great site, check it out! Subscribers get free goodies like special reports on mindset and female psychology, as well as personal access to me over email. You have Successfully Subscribed! If you can keep calm, you have already won 90 percent. The rest is easy and your girlfriend will respect you even more. Women try to test man, and they almost always do it by using emotions. If you as a man cannot stand like a solid rock, you will not pass that test. Being the masculine rock in the face of the feminine storm is the challenge all men face with women. It seems the article is trying to tell men to just stay calm, listen to your girlfriend, and do what pleases her.
This works but not always.
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In a healthy relationship, partners work through issues together in a way that does not require one person to be resilient to personal attack. While it sounds like you are an incredibly strong and resilient person, it may be important to ask yourself if his hurtful way of addressing issues does not change, when will that strain on your emotional wellbeing start to seriously affect your happiness? It can be really tough for friends and family to see someone they care about in a situation where they are concerned for your wellbeing.
It seems like you really care about your partner, and it has to be your choice about how to proceed with your relationship and what the best options are for you. While it is easy to imagine what a life with him might be like, it might be important to keep in mind that expectations are not necessarily reflected by reality. A healthy relationship is built on trust, respect, and open communication, and if you are the only one in the relationship willing to consistently work toward these principles, the relationship will not be healthy.
Because we are a national organization based in the United States, our options for giving local resources for support in South Africa is not something we are able to do. However, if you are able to call us 1. Ive been with my boyfriend for over a year now. The unfortunate part is he met my much older sister prior to meeting me. They were only friends and never dated- but because he is closer to my age- my sister told him about me and showed pictures.
One day I met him at my house and we had an immediate connection. Several weeks later he found me on social networking and we became friends. We had been talking for months and before we knew it- we were crazy for eachother. We decided to start dating. Ever since my sister has made the relationship a complete disaster. Mind you- they never dated.
She refuses to acknowledge him as ever being someone to join this family. My sister is incrediby selfish and stubborn and shes the type to hold a grudge and never let go. This dispute has also cause my mother to disapprove of my relationship since day one. Shes rarely friendly when my boyfriend comes to visit. Shes even gone as far as to say shes waiting for me to move on and meet someone else. Regardless of this treatment, my handy boyfriend is always willing to lend a helping hand around my house. Im in my mid twenties and im absolutely crushed.
Ive made it clear to my family it was never my intention for this to happen- but sometimes you cant predict love. The perpetual stress my family has caused is breaking me down, like Im sure theyre hoping for. Most of all, its not fair for my boyfriend do be treated with such disrespect. You deserve to be safe and treated with respect in all relationships, not just intimate ones. What should I do? Thank you for reaching out. For your family to not support your new partner is very frustrating and it can be confusing.
It is clear that you care about both your boyfriend and your mom. You have a right to pick the partner you want and to have others in your life support that decision. What you can do is to make steps to reach out to your family and have them learn more about your partner or to express your boundaries when it comes to your family talking about him.
Ultimately, you are the only one that can decide what is best for you. My boyfriend is 26 and Im We have been together almost a year and moved in together about 7 months ago. While its been a tough road based on us moving in so quickly and my children, its began to work its way out smoothly. It is frustrating and somewhat hurtful for me because I expected more support from my family and it is important that both our families are approving and supportive to some extent.
We love each other and I feel this is a strong, valid relationship. Should I not put so much worry on what other people think? Any advice is appreciated. If you want to talk more about the situation or how to reach out to your family, please feel free to connect with one of our advocates. Hi I have been with my current partner for nearly 3 years and my family have never approved. I have been married before and they were never a fan of him either. My friends think my partner is great and makes me so happy. We are at the stage of moving in together and getting engaged.
The big issue I have at the moment is my sister is getting married next year and we are close however she is not allowing my partner to the wedding. I have asked the family on numerous occasions what there problem is with him to which they cant answer. I am now contemplating not being a bridesmaid at the wedding as going alone knowing my partner is sitting at home will be horrible plus he would have been great at keeping the kids entertained. I love him so much but this situation is tearing us apart. Thank you for being a part of our online community, and I am so sorry that you are going through this!
It sounds like your family is putting you in a really difficult situation, and if they are not able to offer any reason for their disapproval, this is not something that you can take responsibility for. You deserve to have your choices respected. With the wedding, you know your situation best, and how you choose to proceed will have to be something that you decide. It may be helpful to talk through the options with your partner. Checking in with each other about where you are at in thinking through the issue, what options you both feel comfortable with, and what each of your needs are in working through this can be so helpful.
You can feel justified in prioritizing your own wellbeing through this, and if your family is compromising that, setting clear boundaries with your family may be something that would be helpful to consider this article talks through setting boundaries, and while it is written in the context of someone in a romantic relationship, there is still overlap in many of the principles for other relationship, such as with friends and family. If you would like to talk more about this situation and get talk through ideas for how you might approach working through this issue, I encourage you to reach out to us directly.
At this point, it seems that what you and your boyfriend each want are very different. Deciding to stay or leave a relationship is a difficult choice to face and one that only you can make. It sounds like there is a big difference in what you and your boyfriend each want for your relationship. Hello sir i have been in relationship with a guy since 2 years..
They say that he is not right for me. Thank you for reaching out for help with this, it sounds like an incredibly difficult and stressful situation to be in. Hi,im 29 yrs a mother of two girls,13 yrs ago i met a guy and all was fine till we broke up. My family cannot stand him,and i never understood why as he is a very nice person,and I believe its all because my fiance,the father of my kids has money and takes very gud care of us,but behind all the lavish lifestyle he does not treat me well,he is emotionally and at times gets physical with me,but around my family he is very loving.
He went and had an affair with one of the ladies i knew as a friend and had two kids with her,and he made me keep that as a secret so he wud not look bad in front of my family. I want to liv him so i can be with someone i love and he is there willing and waiting for me to decide,but im scared of leaving as my fiance has promised to take my kids from me,he is an attorney with lots of connections,at the moment im scared i will not be able to provide for my kids on my own,will i be a bad mother to leave my kids in their comfortable home,will they hate me for abondoning them.
Will they understand that i can only see them on holidays and weekends,please someone out there help me,i have neva been so scared of my own life. Unfortunately, we know that abusive people will often use their children as a manipulation tactic to keep their partners trapped in the relationship. He has no right to threaten you or the kids or to use them this way. You have the right to decide what you do in your life and that includes whether you stay in this relationship.
Safety looks different to each person because what each of us needs to feel safe is different. It may take time to find the best options for you and your children and I encourage you to be gentle with yourself as you work on figuring all of this out. She has 4 kids and I have 1 kid, I sold my house and I bought a bigger house for all of us. My parents and family do not like her and now I feel like its effecting my relationship with my kid, who I see on a very limited basis.
We are in therapy and what only after 8 months of being together I do not know what to do. Please feel free to share your thoughts. I can imagine there were a lot of factors that you and your partner considered, especially around your children and the new family you created. It can be really overwhelming when you realize that a lot of changes happened quickly, especially when they are big changes like buying a house and moving in together.
I am 26 years old and I have been back with my high school boyfriend. My family disapproves of my relationship. The thought of him brings out a side of them that is not appealing. We were back and forth throughout high school and some of college. Both guilty of lying or cheating in that time period.
When I found out I was hurt because I was still in love with him, but I was dating other people and we were not together. My family is a different story. They hold grudges forever. We were kids and I was no angel. We are working on trust and our communication. I hate drama it gives me anxiety. Thank you for sharing your experiences with our online community. The communication with your family sounds unhealthy, especially around the topic of your partner and that can be really hurtful to hear.
You have the right to decide what information you share with whom in your life. We have a page, here , that talks about conflict resolution and you might find the info helpful as you work together to figure out the best ways to navigate this situation for both of you. We are not boyfriends and girlfriends yet, but we both really like each other and would like the relationship to get serious soon, which is why I told my mom about him but she does not approve and wants me to stop seeing him.
That is absolutely not true. Everything is mutual and consensual. Thank you so much for being a part of our online community! As the article above describes, her dislike of him may be based on prejudice instead of grounded in a tangible concern. That can create a very challenging environment because there may be little or nothing you can do to shift her perception of him.
How to move forward with this is something that you will have to decide. It seems like you feel happy with entering into a relationship with this person, the he fulfills what you feel you Should Look For in a Partner , and that you feel confident about how Healthy the relationship will be. You should have the opportunity to pursue your own relationships.
If you would like to talk through your situation or explore options for working through this, I encourage you to reach out to us anytime. Hi I have a problem with my family. I love this girl alot she is everything to me. My granny liked her but she charged after my lil brother come back home. I love this girl she is my futer wife and I did buy the engagedment ring.
Its easy ask her to marry me. For your family to try to come between you and someone you care about is very stressful. You are the only one that can decide who is right for you. You have the option of expressing that you love and respect your family and that you also love her and want her in your life. Thank you for sharing your story with us. Trust, communication, respect and equality are all really important parts of making a relationship healthy. You both definitely deserve a relationship built on these qualities, and it might be something to reflect on as you decide if you would like to make things work or move on from here.
We would also be happy to help talk through some healthy options for moving forward from here. My name is Tiffany I can relate to some situations that is similar to mine! We talk weeks before dating. First few days he cooked for me,gave me massages, spoke nicely to me and so much more l.
So days after she moved out I forgave him and tried to work it out do we did and everything went fine I introduce my son to him and his kids and we did things like a family but once he started getting comfortable with me his whole attitude started to change; he started calling me names,punching on me when he get mad,smoking,drinking and all do I tried to distance myself and told my family about what was going on and they wanted me to stay away and leave him along,he apologized numerous of times bit I feel like sorry is not enough!
I really love and care for him and want him to get help. Thank you so much for reaching out and telling your story. It sounds like you have been through a lot of upsetting and complicated situations in this relationship and that is definitely not your fault at all. It is actually very common for abusive partners to be very charming and attentive in the beginning stages of the relationship.
They are great manipulators, so while this can seem like positive attention and care at first, it often is a sign of their need for control and power over you and the relationship. You never deserve to be put down, hit, lied to, or made to feel less than in the relationship. It sounds like your partner has been both physically and emotionally abusing you and that is not something that you have to go through alone.
We really encourage you to contact us directly so that we might better be able to safety-plan with you and talk about possible options moving forward. Hey, I have a Boyfriend who is so great very respectful most times. And he has a awesome heart. But one time I went out with him and I met his family. His aunt jump in and said that nasty so me I explained myself. I then said I am ready to go. Anyways the aunt got in the car yelling at me calling me names and everything so me I started defending myself. Then we went out one not and his baby Mother and her friends come up to him so I ask who are they he said his baby Mother.
I have never been put in these positions in my whole life. And I love him so much. Every time I am around his family I say hey and I am silent for hours. I even feel he is dealing with his baby Mother. That sounds like a really frustrating and difficult situation for you to be in. Maintaining open communication about what has been going on with your boyfriend is really important, and you always have the option to tell him that you would rather not be around his family or ex-partners.
I have been dating a man of a different religion for a year now knowing that my family disapproves of this religion. My parents are Indian and have told me my whole life to stay away from people of this religion. Even my sibling raised in the USA disapproves of me being in a relationship with someone of this religion. I am deeply in love with this man and I feel that I am stuck between choosing him and my family. I tried telling my sibling about this man and he said he will stop talking to me if I stay with this man.
I also mentioned it to my mother and she was fine with it at first but now says she has heard stories about other women marrying within the religion my partner is and getting divorced, converted, or abused in the longrun. She keeps trying to introduce new men to me now. I am temporarily living at home and will be moving out soon. What do you think I should do at this point? Thank you for reaching out and sharing what is going on in your life.
That sounds like such a difficult situation. Your wellbeing and happiness are really important and we are always here to offer support. OKay so basically six months ago I met this guy at church and like we started talking. Basically six months later we are talking about a relationship. My grandma who I live with met him once and immediately put judgement on him as she found out a little bit of his past because I willingly told her. Not knowing at all how he treats me or how he actually is. And his parents are ten years apart as well and I get some of it because so are we.
Idk what to do. Thank you for sharing your story and for being brave enough to reach out. So it completely makes sense that this is confusing and upsetting for you. If you are honest with her and openly communicate about the things you are doing, it might be easier for her to trust you and then eventually your new partner, as opposed to you being dishonest and not letting her know what is going on.
It seems from what you are saying she is going to judge him no matter what you say. So it might be better for you to maintain your trust and support from her rather than lie and cut her out completely? I met a guy in school last year, where we became friends and started to get to know each other. Eventually we became very close over a matter of months and, In a nutshell, we eventually started to like each other. Before our first homecoming, he asked me to go with him, and I of course said yes.
I was really hurt and upset, and he immediately regretted his poor choice. In a nutshell, my family and all my friends found out and were very angry with him, as I was. But he apologized many times and I ended up forgiving him after a matter of time, because it seems like he has changed quite a bit. We both have a lot of feelings for each other, and we have gone on a couple of dates. However, my friends and family do not approve of him at all because of what he did to me. Earlier today they caught me communicating with him via text and were very angry.
I claimed that we are just friends, but they did not even approve of that. I really want to start a relationship with this guy, because I really like him and know him well and I think he has really changed, but my family seems to never approve. How should I approach this situation? I want to be happy, but this is really getting in the way. Thank you for being a part of our online community! You can only control your own choices. Communicating with them regarding their perspective and your own to see how you might work through this issue in a healthy way may be ideal.
However, if their opinion of him is not something they are willing to reconsider, that can definitely put you in a really challenging situation. While Keeping Your Relationship a Secret can seem like the least problematic choice, at some point, your relationship will likely come out. One thing that may be important to consider is how you want that information to come out. If you can make that happen on your own terms, that can be important for maintaining a positive relationship with others in your life.
That can be so stressful to consider, and if you would like to plan around what that might look like for you, that is something we would be more than willing to work with you on. If you would like to talk through this further and explore further options for working through this, I encourage you to reach out to us, anytime. So I am a lesbian.
Not even to sit in the car while she runs in and out. She says she loves me and that her parents actions are not gonna make her leave me but she is very family oriented. They are very religious people and they say some very hurtful things to her. I love this girl with everything in me and I want marriage and a family with her. They say you marry the persons family along with the person…. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you so much for being a part of our online community and for sharing your story with us!
That sounds like such a stressful situation for both you and your partner! You and your partner deserve to be accepted, exactly as you are, by both of your families.
If you feel comfortable doing so, I definitely encourage you to talk through your concerns with your partner. It seems like you care about her so much, and you deserve to feel happy and supported in your relationship by those around you. Understanding where each of you stand, how your relationship might look, moving forward, and what each of you need for support through this may be helpful. If you would ever like to talk further about your situation or you are interested in exploring options for working through this, I encourage you to reach out to us, anytime.
They may have additional suggestions and support options available for you and your partner. He shows me how much he cares. I love my family to bits and I love my partner to. Just like self-care or healing, everyone expresses emotions and works through them differently and I encourage you to find what works best for you. Some options might be journaling or creating art about your feelings, or finding physical activities like running to release the energy.
I just need advice for my current situation. Me and my bf have been together for almost 10 months. During our first few months of dating, I wanted to introduce him to my family. She just judged him by his appearance since he had two tattoos.
Solve My Girl Problems Dating
From that time onwards she was suspicious of me. I had to resort to lying just to avoid conflict. I met his family already and they strongly approve. He says I should not stress much about it. Just wait for the right time. Can anyone give me advice? I can imagine how hard it is to feel that you need to lie to your family in order to keep the peace. Often, finding what works best for you means trying various ideas until you find one that works, and we understand that the trial-and error process can be frustrating.
I encourage you to be patient with yourself as you work through this. Thank you so much for reaching out to our blog community. Everyone deserves a healthy relationship that is built on respect, communication, trust and equality. It sounds like this has been a tough situation. We would be happy to chat with you about what has been going on and help you talk through some options moving forward. My boyfriend and I grew up together and have known each other since we were We began dating at the end of senior year, and have now been together a little over a year and a half.
He is incredibly smart and I think he could come off sometimes as being arrogant, but he is also incredibly kind, especially to my family. It sounds like a really frustrating situation! If you have already worked to communicate in a healthy way and talk with your family about your concerns, and they have not been willing to reconsider the way they are engaging with you and your partner, unfortunately, that may limit your options in addressing this with them. You only have control over your own choices, and that can feel so overwhelming when others make hurtful choices that impact you.